By Robert McMillen, Koin’s Tech Guru

Windows 7 hasn’t even been released to the public yet but people are already asking me if they should upgrade or buy a new PC with Windows 7.

Since my company, All Tech 1, is a Microsoft certified business partner, we have a special deal with Microsoft: every product they make is given to us to test and try for free so we can learn how to use it before we deploy it to our customers.

We downloaded the Beta version months ago and several of our staff decided to use it during the trial period before the retail version was released. Just as in any other major release of Windows, you have to force yourself to use it by getting rid of the old operating system in order to really understand it. Our staff loved it. It’s faster, and has far less problems than Vista.

Some of our customers couldn’t wait for the official release, so they had us put trial versions on their PCs to see how they liked it. The installations went smoothly on every one of them and they, too, were singing the praises of Windows 7.

The official release date is in October, but the final version got to us about a week ago by downloading it using our special account with Microsoft. Since I had Vista Enterprise on my work PC, I had to use Windows 7 Enterprise for the upgrade. I found out you cannot downgrade to a lower version than you already have. You can install a fresh copy of a lower version, but you cannot upgrade to one. Upgrading has lots of advantages because you don’t have to re install all your applications.

With a strange giddiness I haven’t felt since Windows ME was released, and all of the glowing reports from my staff and business partners, I decided to pop the DVD in and run the upgrade. Do you remember the movie "Wag the Dog?" It’s where Dustin Hoffman was hired by the president to manufacture a war, and every time a public relations disaster is about to happen, he spins it around as a positive by repeating the mantra "I can fix that." Well, that is exactly what happened to me for the next 48 hours.

The first problem appeared when Windows 7 ran its pre installation checklist. After seeing if all of my programs were compatible, it found that Nero 7, a CD/DVD burning program, was not compatible.

"That’s ok, I can fix that."

I backed out of the installation and went to uninstall Nero. Halfway through I got an error from which Vista cannot recover, and the uninstall aborted.

"That’s ok, I can fix that."

I went to Nero’s site and found a manual un-installation technique that involved running a utility they offered, and I had to make some registry key deletions. An hour later and I was back on track to upgrade to the latest 'bestest' operating system from Microsoft ever. The giddiness returned. I felt a pimple on my forehead popping up as an odd familiar feeling of youthful exuberance appeared out of nowhere.

I decided to run my upgrade around 4 PM so I could start it and let it run while I headed out to see a customer. The next day I showed up and the upgrade was still running. Even for Microsoft that was a little odd, so I reset the computer and I received the following error: "Your installation failed. Microsoft will return to the previous operating system. Please do not turn off your computer. You look ridiculous with a pimple on your forehead. You’re 44 for God's sake."

"That’s ok, I can fix that."

I let the un-upgrade run for a few hours while I was relegated to working on a Macintosh I keep around to play music (since I couldn’t find any other use for it). I downloaded the remote Desktop for Macintosh client that allowed me to remote into the server using a terminal session so I could send and receive email. The Mac mocked me with every keystroke. I could have just picked up a laptop from the back room but I hate having more power cords around my desk than I already have. It’s not a green friendly setup. Besides, I was sure Vista would be back up and running shortly and I would figure out what went wrong, right? Wrong. After the fourth hour I decided to hit the reset and the endless loop returned.

"That’s ok, I can fix that."

Since Windows 7 is built on the Vista kernel, I assumed that I wouldn’t have to upgrade my BIOS but that made an ass of… just me I guess, and I realized my mistake. BIOS stands for Basic Input Output System, and it’s the lowest level of communication between the motherboard and device drivers that make Windows interact with the CD drive, network card, and every other device. It needs to be updated when there is a problem, or a new operating system is installed. The computer is fairly new, and it ran fine on Vista, so I didn’t believe it needed it. Well, it did. I went to Intel and found the BIOS upgrade to make Windows 7 work. That’s why the upgrade failed. But the downgrade also failed.

Intel gives you a couple of ways to upgrade the BIOS. One way requires you to be in Windows to run an executable. Since I couldn’t boot into Windows anymore, I would have to do plan B. I had to create a bootable floppy or CD and run the BIOS upgrade file from a DOS prompt. Remember DOS? We now only think of it as a Denial of Service attack, but it originally stood for Disk Operating System before we had hard drives.

"That’s ok, I can fix that."

I first tried the bootable CD. I had Scott, one of my business partners and radio show co-hosts, create one. For some reason it wouldn’t work in my computer. I asked him if he tested it before he gave it to me. He looked like I just socked him in the stomach and said "What?" "Never Mind." I said as my patience started to run thin with this whole project. The giddiness was gone, but the pimple just started getting bigger and began to throb. I then created a bootable DOS floppy and tried to boot off of that. The floppy wasn’t working correctly so I had to take the computer apart to find out what was wrong. The cable was unplugged because I never used it, so I plugged it in and I was able to boot it up.

I then took a second floppy disk to copy over the BIOS upgrade file. One big problem: Intel made the BIOS file just a few bytes too big to fit on the floppy disk.

"That’s ok, I can fix that."

Now that I was in DOS I could have Scott copy the files to a CD for me. Since I hadn’t used DOS in so long I forgot you have to manually load drivers for DOS to interact with it.

"That’s ok, I can fix that."

I grabbed my tech CD we use at client’s sites and was able to boot into DOS using that. I forgot we had DOS still on our tech CD. It was hard to think clearly at that point. I decided to take a break and read my email. There were 42 emails flying between staff members and partners about how to thwart zombies, and who a zombie would eat first in a zombie attack. They all decided it would be me, and then they started discussing how to cook me so the zombies would have the best dining experience.

"That’s ok, I can fix that."

350 degrees basting in an oven for at least six hours in a nice Béarnaise sauce would be best in case anyone is wondering.

We have a special version of DOS that also loads the CD drivers from a bunch of different manufacturers. Surely one of them would allow me to use my CD so I could load the BIOS upgrade, right? Uh, no. After trying for an hour I realized that my CD/DVD drive was one of the new SATA connection drives that was made after our CD was made. I plugged in an old IDE CD drive and Bingo! I was able to upgrade the BIOS. I placed a blank hard drive in the PC and ran a fresh install to see if it would work. It installed in less than 15 minutes! Yea for me.

I placed the Windows 7 DVD into the PC and re installed my original hard drive. I tried to re-run the upgrade without success. Then I tried to complete the downgrade back to Vista. That didn’t work either.

"That’s ok, I can fix that."

My last hope was to do a fresh installation of Windows 7. That actually worked. But then I had to re install all my applications, which I am still doing even as I’m writing this article. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. It’s my birthday and now I’m 45. My pimple is gone along with my youthful giddiness and ideals.

Oh wait, now I can play with my new operating system before almost everyone else gets to. Wait. Why does that excite me? The Mac is mocking me again as it plays out a tune by Pink. That’s ok. I can fix that too.