Changes in attitude

By Rick Devereux

There is something insulting about sympathy. To have sympathy for someone is to feel sorry for someone, to think someone is in an un-winnable situation, to basically not trust someone to make it through a tough time.

What kind of friend doesn’t have faith in you?

I’m not being heartless here. I have empathy for people. I can understand the hard times people are in or get into.

But empathy and sympathy are not the same thing.

I have a very good friend who just found out he has a brain tumor. He’s in his early 30s and has a beautiful wife and amazing son. But I know things will be OK.

Oh, I’m not delusional. I know things will be tough, I know it will seem impossible, I know it will be scary. But I also know he is stronger than he thinks.

And he’s not alone.

Every single one of us is stronger than we think.

There is nothing you can’t accomplish if you put effort into it.

Will it be hard?

Yes.

Will it totally suck at times?

Yes.

But that’s the way it goes, kiddo.

The only people who have it easy and don’t have problems are the ones in the cemeteries. (I mean the dead people, not the grave diggers and other workers. Those guys have problems, too.)

Life is not fair. Who ever said life is fair? Where is it written that life is fair? Life is amazingly UNfair! But it is unfair to everyone, so I guess that makes it fair?

The people who want sympathy want things to be fair. There is a sense of entitlement. There is a sense they deserve less pain than other people; more joy than other people.

You make your own pain. You make your own joy.

If the unthinkable happens to my good friend fighting the brain tumor, I will feel for his wife and son. I will have empathy. There will be no sympathy, though. That’s because I have faith that she and her boy will some how, some way make it through the hardship.

Believe me, I have dealt with friends in truly life and death situations, I have had my own life and death situations (some from own doing, but some just life being life).

I urge you all to try to change the way you look at life, the way you deal with hardships and the way you see the world.

1) Art is supposed to help you see the world and look at life in different ways.

And it doesn’t have to massive works of art. Something as simple as a business card can start an inner dialog about what is possible.

If you start to think about it, a business card is meant to let people know who you are, so why be like everyone else? I’ve been around the world and have met a lot of people, and I certainly don’t want to be like everyone else. They’re kinda lame. (But not you. You’re cool.)

One of the most memorable business cards I ever received was from a pair of young entrepreneurs starting their own clothing line. At first glance it was a regular business card: Company name and logo, mailing address, website, phone number, fax number. But the title under each name set them apart from every business card I had ever seen. One had the job of “Dominate and Benevolent King” and the other was “Lord of All that is good.” Brilliant!

This website shows 100 creative business cards. While some may not be the best for jamming in your wallet (only to get lost with the two dozen other business cards stuffed in there), but that’s the point. These business cards shine.

I currently don’t have a business card, but those cards have me wondering: Wondering what type of design would I use if I wanted to stand out; Wondering what other interesting cards other professions could use; Wondering what represents my profession best? And isn’t art supposed to make people wonder about the world around them, make them look at things differently?

2) It takes a very special type of person to look at a wall and think, ‘How can I make this into art?’

Sure, there’s the usual spray paint/mural approach, but for real ingenuity check out what German robotic company Festo is doing.

But creating an interactive wall is just one of several other unique creations: robotic jellyfish that can also fly; robotic penguins that also fly; cubes that communicate with each other.

But their bionic arm has me thinking of the Terminator movies.

3) It’s hard to think a photograph loading program on the Internet could make you look at rooms differently, but Photosynth does just that. The program can turn your pictures into three-dimensional renderings of the objects you shot (granted, you may have to take a LOT of pictures, but it’s still a cool concept).

And while I’ve seen lots of interactive photo-landscapes, this one of New York City is pretty cool.

The contrast of those is impressive. One site makes you realize miniscule details, the other focuses on the big picture.

4) Sometimes changing your outlook on life can be as simple as changing what you are looking at. And what is the one thing you look at most of the time without realizing it? Your computer’s desktop.

Using your old vacation photos is all well and good, but sometimes you need a totally different image to revitalize your view.

Abduzeedo has lists of cool (and cost-free and hassle-free) desktop wallpaper.

5) The relationship between humans and apes has been debated between scientists and theologians before Darwin came around.

This video is enough evidence for me that proves how closely related we are to our furry cousins. The kids act like kids and the parents act like parents.

As always, please send your questions, complaints and/or suggestions to rdevereux@koin.com